Single or Queensize

10 years ago I had my own bed. That bed was mine alone. I shared it with no one. Ah the priviledges of being an only child..It was probably like my own sacred place. Like a place of worship..or maybe, I was the patient & the bed was Mr. Sheraton. Psychiatrist. My shrink.

It was a single wooden bed with a pull-out underneath.
I used it to keep my notes, my short stories, and even pictures of people I would hide from the world (as if the world cares)tucked underneath. The bed knew my secrets & if it were alive, it would blackmail me & ask for 100% wool bedsheets.

But like a true behaviorist that I am (hah!), the bed was a reflection of who I was..Single, comfortable, relaxed, secretive..okay, eccentric and dilusional.. Now that bed is rotting in a dark storage place. My old photo albums still tucked inside the headboard shelf. Hay,..Memories of childhood, of uncertainty and vulnerability. Asus!!!

I now share a queensize with the guy I married 4 years ago...and that little guy born just months ago. It has no room for little secrets. The bed is bigger, stronger, stable and comfortable. Exactly what I am now with the "men" in my life.

Three years from now...maybe its time to buy a King Size?..

Ethan

500,000 names in one book. Most popular girl names. Most popular boy names. Popular movie names. Celebrity names. Bible names. French names. Spanish names. Turkish names. Fashionable names. Native names...
The result, a printout of 200 girl names.

I always dreamed about naming my daughter Chloe. Chloe was my first perfume. (Yes friends. At 12 years old I had my own bottle from Karl Lagerfeld before he took over Chanel.) Do you think we should add another name? I asked my ever-patient-loving husband. Maybe..Nadine? Nicole? Adriane? Amelie? a character from a movie? a famous actress? Maybe Natalie? Penelope?.."Baby, we're having a boy".
It took me quite awhile to understand or even accept the fact that I'm not buying those cute gingersnap summer dresses. Not that I preferred a girl over a boy.. It was mainly for selfish reasons.

So I was back googling boy names.

I remember my cousin insiting her daughter be named after a flower...from space. Excuse me pinsan? That is not even possible. She named her, Space Dandelion. Totoo!! Imagine the Parish Priest's reaction during the Baptism rites.

I had a dormmate named January Juan. Her sister's name...May Juan. Yes, born on labor day...inside the labor room? Hah!

I thought about the name Ethan while driving & catching a glimpse of another driver who looked so much like Ethan Hawke. I followed his car down to Katipunan Avenue. He turned & swear to God he was 90% Ethan Hawke.

..I searched for the name Ethan. Strong & Firm. Exactly what I would want him to be. Now maybe he'll marry Uma.

Countdown

Allow me to reminisce about the most exciting event of my life. Now, I guess women love talking about childbirth. Not that I enjoyed the whole experience...

I always imagined childbirth like the scenes from the movies. Scream..screamm..curse husband..curse nurse..turn to doctor..curse like your last name is Osbourne. Then I would recall my Home Economics teacher describing the whole experience like sitting on lava.

Inside the LR I was lying beside a 20-somthing girl moaning like she was ravaged by a pack of wolves. I was cool like Fonze. After 10 hours I was trying to calculate the pain as cramps x 1000.. Yes there was a good looking guy & I just had to flirt bigtime while on labor... But then I still ended up in the OR. Yes Houston, there's a problem. My little boy is pushing to get out but the door won't open. He's stuck..he can't get out and he can't go back either. He was stressed out and they had to get him out....in 10 minutes..

So there I was in the OR. Staff running, trays dropping..it was the set of ER without Noah & George.. then I was in dreamland.. I heard a cry... it was the most beautiful sound really. But the smell..I woke up & I had puke allover.. But again..I was Fonze.