Recruitment Files

Was chatting with a friend about publishing my experiences interviewing people for the "new" company I'm currently working for. I'll share them with anyone who wants a good laugh..

Me: What motivates you at work?
Applicant: Love songs! Because I am always in love. Even without a boyfriend!! (kinikilig)
Me: (Kinikilig sa inis)

Me: ..so what are your plans now?
Applicant: (sigh) eto..nag-aaply...
(Hay sorry hija, na-abala ba kita at nag-aaply ka dito?)

Me: What factors will make you decide whether to accept the offer or not?
Applicant: Accept.

Me: Undergrad course mo yun right?
Applicant: Maam graduate na po ako. (naiinis pa)

Accounting applicant in psychedelic shirt: Well..ya know, I've experience in account payables & receivables. That's my thing.. ya know.
Me: yo!

Receptionist applicant: I believe I can do everything & anything I want to do to the best of my abilities..as long as I am told what to do.

Me: So what can you contribute to the company?
Applicant w/ american accent: Maam I have excellent communication skills. I do outbond & inbound calls. Communication is my strength...and I know I can do a lot for your call center.
Me: We're not a call center.
Applicant: Ah ok. Isn't this Contact Point?
Me: (Dyos me!)