Shape of things to come...

I chanced upon this garment at the mall that promises contour enhancement. The saleslady insisting that this piece of clothing works miracles and to me it sounded more like an insult to my unflattering figure.

Quick history:
Flashback 1996. I barely weighed 90lbs. I forked out some cash to buy myself a can of Ensure that tasted more like breastmilk. I switched to choco-flavored Sustagen mixed with full cream milk to add more flab to my anorexic figure.
Fast-forward 1999. 100 lbs. I've concluded that most effective weight-gain program - A steady boyfriend with a big appetite.
2002 - Another factor that has greatly affected my eating habits. Stable job. Daily dose of McDonald's value meal and fast-food specialities.
2003 - Pregnancy
2004 - Age.. holy sh--!

According to Dr. Bello, there is always a price for beauty. On my wedding day I wore this expensive maidenform corset that didn't do much for my empire-cut gown. That night my lungs hurt like hell and felt like my life would end on my honeymoon. The hotel nurse asked about all the things I ate and all my activities for the day. "I got married" I joked. No reaction from her side, then she said. "You wore something too tight no?"
Hotel Nurse cum psychic huh?

I later accepted the fact that things will never be the same again. I guess, that includes my figure.

The UPLB Men's Dorm

Came across an article about my home-away-from-home for 4 years at UPLB. T'was a life-changing experience. My first taste of independence..And after 12 years in super conservative St. Scho this was my big step to freedom.
The UP Men's Residence Hall...or Men's Co-Ed Dorm.. (Mens na nga, coed pa?-you ask..)
Brief History: (http://www.uplb.edu.ph/admin/shd/dorms.html)
Men's Residence Hall was originally a one-building dormitory, which accommodates male students. However, due to the increasing population of male students because of the expansion of courses offered in the university, four buildings were added in 1968. In 1974, two buildings were converted to house the increasing female population. In 1982 to the present, three buildings were assigned to the female residents.
In the first semester of SY 2001-2002, a new policy was instituted to gradually transform the dormitory into a "Kalayaan" type (patterned after the dormitory in U.P. Diliman) that caters only to new freshmen. Upper classmen will be allowed to stay until they graduate. In 2004, Men's Residence Hall will be exclusively for new freshmen, which will only be allowed to stay for one year.

I shared Room 2103 with 3 upperclassmen who gave me a solid orientation on campus survival and the mysterious 'blue book'. I occupied the top bunk by the window, a comfortable rather confining space. I figured this was a surefire way to attract a Makiling ghost. Imagine the stories I would tell my chain-smoking friends.

Unfortunately I had no ghost stories to tell. I did find it disturbing to see a "bayawak" hanging out by my window & eventually decided to make this his home. Friendly neighborhood bayawak. Had to get used to the tuko that tuko'd-tuko'd-tuko'd all thru the night and was intentionally annoying the crap out of my freshman butt. Thank God for screened windows.

Not everything here is rural. This, by the way, is UP's home of biological sciences. Los Banos being a nature park of sorts probably breeds the biggest specie of millipedes in the RP. I detest slimy creepy crawling creatures and everything in larvae form. But just like the bayawak, they have an affinity for the cold moist cement wall near my cozy space. Imagine the horror of finding one creepy crawler getting cozy under my mattress. I had no recollection how I jumped from the top bunk 5 feet from the floor & ran out like a bra-less maniac.

But aside from all the nature-tripping...my stay at the dorm was an eye-opener. Yes I did line up for the shower like a big hollywood blockbuster movie. There was a water supply schedule that I had to organize along with your class schedule. I paid less than P200 a month for my rent including electricity for this (moi) spoiled brat's necessities: mini-component and mini-refrigerator. I was even voted Dorm Treasurer which happened to be the most boring extra-curricular experience of my life. I watched TV along with 30 other occupants under the mercy of the fratboy jerk with the remote. But I learned to make this my home away from home. My family - 3 girls and 637 others under the same roof.

Whats going on?

What’s going on?

• Half the world — nearly three billion people — live on less than two dollars a day.


• The GDP (Gross Domestic Product) of the poorest 48 nations (i.e. a quarter of the world’s countries) is less than the wealth of the world’s three richest people combined.


• Nearly a billion people entered the 21st century unable to read a book or sign their names.


• Less than one per cent of what the world spent every year on weapons was needed to put every child into school by the year 2000 and yet it didn’t happen.


• 1 billion children live in poverty (1 in 2 children in the world). 640 million live without adequate shelter, 400 million have no access to safe water, 270 million have no access to health services. 10.6 million died in 2003 before they reached the age of 5.

...remind me not to complain too much...

http://www.globalissues.org/TradeRelated/Poverty.asp

Would I like some cheese to go with my whine???

whining bitch..

I'm in a dreadful mood...unusual since its Friday. I'm usually..Alive-awake-alert-enthusiastic... Looking forward to 2 days away from work.
Recently I've been dragging not just my feet to work.
I suddenly hate doing the things I used to do and apprehensive about things I need to do...then I complain like a J-Lo diva. I used to extend an arm, a leg or whatever to help out and I take the initiative to do things on my own. Slap me silly please!!!.. Now there's a question of 'so what do I get out of this?' attached to everything even answering my phone or scratching my butt...

ah, I guess its time...
Time to move out...and move on...

....sigh...

I always ask our applicants..what are the most important things at work?

I am suddenly in that situation where I had to ask myself the same question...

My answer...

-Challenge
-Creativity
-Relationships
-Appreciation

At this point I guess I'm putting in renumeration... (always take into consideration the economic crisis)

quick somewhat-irrelevant thought---
What's worse than long painful death?
working for a short,arrogant,name-dropping,judgemental,insensitive,senior citizen boss?

Whenever I'm pissed at work, I immediately open my Jobstreet account and send a
dozen of applications...Then I miss 80% of the interviews and get creative with my excuses... Why oh why?

I think about burning my book, 'What color is your parachute' by Richard Bolles.
It was a gift from my uncle back when I was unemployed..for almost 3 years... This book is about skills, career management, happiness at work etc.

I hate my skills...

Things I'm never good at:

1. The details (I can't remember them...I easilly forget them..blame the anesthesia)
2. Numbers (I'll count bills over & over...)
3. Filing (is this something anybody should be good at?....)
4. Control (inventory...logistics...procedures??..I love to lose control..hehehe)

Why a career in Human Resources?
a not-so unique ability to understand individual behavior in a group setting...

I am in that rotten place where you find yourself stuck in something you can't get out of. Oh yeah, I now hear Bono singing.."you've got to get yourself together, you got stuck in the moment, & you can't get out of it.."
Worst part is that this is not just a "moment" thing, but almost like a lifetime of being stuck. "Infinistuck"...

My friend insisting that I'm in the wrong place...wrong job..wrong everything...
"Lusyang...hindi ka dapat HR. Wala kang pakialam sa mga yan. You hate the rules. You complain too much on everything..Hindi ka bagay dyan...

She's right...

Etc...

Store signs:

SCREW IT: The Bolts & Nuts store (along P.Tuazon Cubao)
GULONG NG BUHAY Vulcanizing - Molave Road, Marikina
ANG MANOK NI SAN PEDRO INIHAW (Barangka Marikina)
TALK DIRTY TO ME - Cleaning Services (Grove Los Banos)
OFIS NI KWAN - office supplies (Makati Cinema Square)
CRUSTY CLOUDS Internet Cafe - ???? konek!!
TONIO LABANDERO - Laundry services Marikina (kaw na maglaba honey ako magluluto)

SI KWAN???

Ofis ni Kwan Collection Rep at the reception area...
Collector: Maam collection po.
Me: Collection from?
Collector: Ofis ni Kwan po
Me: Office ni?
Collector: Ofis ni Kwan po
Me: Office nino nga??!! (taray)
Collector: Ofis ni Kwan
Me: Kwan?
Collector: Ofis ni Kwan po..
Me: Ahh!!! Ofis ni Kwan yung name..hehe
Collector: (pinapawisan)

MUNTING BUHANGIN BROCHURE:
Honeymoon Suite - Good for 5 -15 persons (wow! the more the merrier!!!)

EXCERPT:

"Thanks to Wireless Technology, I can hate my job anywhere"
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The Tree

Can't forget the story of Mang Tom from Calatagan about the Tree Poem
set up line by line along the main road from Nasugbu-Calatagan Batangas
back to Manila.

The young driver of a brand new Honda..reading the poem aloud to his girlfriend
as they pass by the signs...

"I think I shall never see...
A poem as lovely as a tree...
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest...
Against the earth's loving breast...

kablag!! car smashes to the next tree...
------------------------------------------------------------------

Open manhole sign along Kalayaan Makati - "Deep Shit"

Memorable Movie Quotes Vol. 2

A few important lines that sort of explains...why I love the movies...

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN
Private Reiben: You want to explain the math of this to me? I mean, where's the sense in risking the lives of the eight of us to save one guy?
Captain Miller: Anyone wanna answer that?
Medic Wade: Hey, think about the poor bastard's mother.
Private Reiben: Hey, Wade, I got a mother, you got a mother, the sarge has got a mother. I'm willing to bet that even the Captain's got a mother. Well, maybe not the Captain, but the rest of us have got mothers.

Most apt title: Hating Private Ryan..

LOTR: RETURN OF THE KING
Aragorn: I summon you to fulfill your oath.
King of the Dead: None but the king of Gondor may command me.
[Swings sword; Aragorn blocks him with the sword of Anduril]
King of the Dead: The blade was broken
Aragorn: It has been remade.
Aragorn: Fight for us... and regain your honor.

ah yes, the moment I was waiting for...

Witch King: You fool. No man can kill me. Die now.
Eowyn: I am no man.

"I am ate guy..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GLADIATOR
Commodus: How dare you show your back to me! Slave, you will remove your helmet and tell me your name.
Maximus: [removes helmet and turns around to face Commodus] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

Real revenge...is Russel in a skirt
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BABE
Narrator: And though every single human in the stands or in the commentary boxes was at a complete loss for words, the man who in his life had uttered fewer words than any of them knew exactly what to say.
Farmer Hoggett: That'll do, pig. That'll do.

Had a hard time eating my porkchops after this..

Milestones

Dream wedding.. San Sebastian











Spending the rest of my life with my best friend














ETHAN









First Laugh!!













First Christmas!!










Ethan's first summer skinny dip...











Ethan's 1st Birthday









Ethan's first out-of-town trip...Calatagan!!

Recruitment Files Vol. 2 - TIPS

The interviewer observes the applicants every move... Fresh grads & first time applicants check the textbook Guide to Interviews... boys & girls..here are some tips not mentioned by your Career Guide or even your favorite Richard Bolles' "What Color is you Parachute" edition..

1. Know when to shut up.. As in..
Don't exagerrate.
Don't give too many opinions.
Never give unsolicited comments.
Don't give a bad rap about your former employer.
Don't talk too much.
Never ever..butt in.

2. Focus. This is not the time to daydream.
3. Don't stare like you're posessed. This will creep out your interviewer.
Make eye contact, but don't overdo it.
3. Sit properly. This is a job interview. Not therapy.
4. Act like a pro. This is not star search, star in a million or abs-cbn
talent search. We are not after your rapping skills, ya know.
5. Limit the "ya know what I mean.." phrase. Its annoying enough when J.Lo uses it.
6. Don't raise your eyebrows...(wag na magtaray please... leave the pagtataray to me)
7. Again this is not therapy. I don't care about your problems.
8. The interviewer is looking for confidence..not overconfidence, and definitely not arrogance. (Oh please, I'm from UP too...so save it!)
9. Don't speak too loud. You are not applying for the PEP squad.
10. No sales talk please. (I am not buying magnetic shoe pads..)

The Mini..

Last week a sleek blue Mini stopped beside me while on traffic. I'm not a big fan of small automobiles that cause claustrophobia but my interest suddenly shifted from the cumbersome SUV to the real star of the movie Italian Job. I figured this movie was made for the Mini...especially since Mark Whalberg didn't do much for it. Europeans love the Mini because of its power & its practicality to the narrow streets of Euroupe. Entirely different to the Americans love for Maybachs, Escalades & Fords. The best & most comfortable way to get them thru different states and huge freeways.
We pinoys on the other hand, are so into the aesthetics of impractical automobiles. Like rap stars who collect, trade & upgrade the symbol for success & power. Now if I were single, rich, Sean Puffy Combs ex-gf..I would take the Mini. Easier to park parallel & in between the F150 and Navigator along Daang Bakal. Much easier to traverse thru EDSA traffic..Will be a problem though trying to fit all my chain-smoking friends inside.

Memorable Movie Quotes... Vol 1

Spaceballs
Dark Helmet: Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Star.
Lone Starr: What?
Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
Lone Starr: What's that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become

Silence of the Lambs
Hannibal Lecter: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
Willy Wonka: You can't have your family hanging over you like an old, dead goose. No offense.
Grandpa George: None taken. Jerk.

Recruitment Files

Was chatting with a friend about publishing my experiences interviewing people for the "new" company I'm currently working for. I'll share them with anyone who wants a good laugh..

Me: What motivates you at work?
Applicant: Love songs! Because I am always in love. Even without a boyfriend!! (kinikilig)
Me: (Kinikilig sa inis)

Me: ..so what are your plans now?
Applicant: (sigh) eto..nag-aaply...
(Hay sorry hija, na-abala ba kita at nag-aaply ka dito?)

Me: What factors will make you decide whether to accept the offer or not?
Applicant: Accept.

Me: Undergrad course mo yun right?
Applicant: Maam graduate na po ako. (naiinis pa)

Accounting applicant in psychedelic shirt: Well..ya know, I've experience in account payables & receivables. That's my thing.. ya know.
Me: yo!

Receptionist applicant: I believe I can do everything & anything I want to do to the best of my abilities..as long as I am told what to do.

Me: So what can you contribute to the company?
Applicant w/ american accent: Maam I have excellent communication skills. I do outbond & inbound calls. Communication is my strength...and I know I can do a lot for your call center.
Me: We're not a call center.
Applicant: Ah ok. Isn't this Contact Point?
Me: (Dyos me!)